I have been an IT tech for almost 20 years now. I know my way around the Microsoft universe really well but my Linux portfolio remains rather weak. So I’m trying to learn and with Linux, the best way to learn is with hands-on experiencing, face in the terminal.
So I have this old Dell D820 laptop at home. It’s really outdated but it’s got a really nice 15 inches screen so I wanted to use it as an internet browser next to my emulation console. It’s a Core2Duo with not much RAM therefore I thought, “Windows ought to be really slow on this, I need an alternative.” What a beautiful opportunity to learn more about Linux.
First pick: Mint (Cinnamon). I do not dislike this distro at all because I succesfully installed it on an archaic P4 at home and not only does it boot relatively well, it looks pretty. So I tried that. Unfortunately, the GeForce card in my D820 is not initially supported by Mint. There is an alternative driver offered but, it only works in troubleshooting mode (or whatever it’s called, the Mint equivalent of Windows safe mode). Oh well.
Next runner up, Xubuntu. It’s like Ubuntu but silly looking and really REALLY fast. The video card works! Great! Unfortunately, my broadcom wifi card doesn’t. There is an alternative driver suggested but it doesn’t work either. Oh well,
So by searching for alternatives, the linux community suggested Solus. Solus looks NICE. When it boots. Because sometimes it fails to boot. And it’s a pain to install too: There is no data validation in the entry fields. IT asks me: “What should we call this computer?” I try something… The NEXT button doesn’t light up because Solus doesn’t like the name I picked but won’t tell me why. Try to guess, mothertecher. I finally get it to work. Yay! It’s pretty! Broadcom card not seen.again. No driver alternatives. Oh well.
I am then directed to Arch Linux. It looks nice (on google). I couldn’t tell otherwise because I never managed to use the ISO they provide. I refuse to burn CDs for this experiment, especially since it represents one CD per attempt. I use a Universal USB installer (which works REALLY well) to make a bootable Linux USB key. Unfortunately, no matter what linux god I pray to, this ISO won’t boot on my laptop. Oh well.
Then I am told to try Knoppix. The ISO boots in 0.7 nanoseconds and OH MIRACLE OF MIRACLES, everything is detected and EVERYTHING WORKS! Unfortunately, Knoppix is meant to be a LIVE linux which you cannot (or at least should not) install on a HDD. This means I need an USB key perma-connected in this laptop. It also mean that unless I manually mount it each and every time, I have no HDD to store my stuff. I ignored the warnings. I tried installing Knoppix. I failed. Oh well.
An alternative to Knoppix was given to me in the form of Kanotix. Full of promises, this is supposed to be “the installable Knoppix”. Haha. Even my Universal USB installer wanted nothing to do with their broken ISO. Completely unusable. (I admit, I was so fired up by knoppix that I even tried burning this one on a DVD but my software quickly told me “Dude, are you kidding me?” and then crashed. Oh well.
So apparently Knoppix/Kanotix is derived from Debian and we do use Debian at the university so, I downloaded Debian. A net-install version. Meh, it’s fine, I have bandwidth. And time. So an hour passes and Debian finally loads up in all its KDE desktop glory. You need your brain examined if you like KDE. Guess what? Broadcom card not detected. There ARE drivers, but to certify, download and install them, you need to invoke Yog-Knoppox, elder god of the Debian city of Xplwhjsr. Oh well.
So you know what? They say Ubuntu can do EVERYTHING, right? The graphs I found on the net even say “you’ll get a bit less performance but it can detect EVERYTHING.” Ubuntu’s ISO is over 1GB. My old USB key is 1GB (don’t judge me). Meeeehhhh…. Wait. Apparently, Lubuntu is like, Ubuntu minus a few apps so it’s lighter, faster but still compatible with EVERYTHING. So I got Lubuntu. Installed. Booted. It’s fast. It’s pretty! And broadcom? Broaaadcom??
Brodcard com not failed. Invoke haha here to install Yog-fuckmylife. Oh well.
Arrrrghhh.
Then I had an idea.
I installed Windows 7.
I updated it to Windows 10.
Everything is detected.
Laptop is fast.
Life is happy.
So what if my OS takes 3-4 times more space than any Linux would take. Who doesn’t have 6-8GB to waste in 2016?
So what if I’m stuck with Cortana. She can be silenced.
So what if Microsoft spies on me. OH NO! THEY WILL LEARN WHICH GAMEFAQS GAMES I BROWSE!
So what if my laptop is as safe as a blind cat trying to cross a highway during evening rush hour in the middle of a snowstorm. I’ll only be going to gmail and a few game sites.
So what if it’s the vile Windows I use and endorse. It installed, I can boot it, I can troubleshoot it, I can fix it. IT WORKS.
Linux, I am trying REALLY HARD to love you and you can’t say I did not try my best but, you are a very finicky mistress that just cannot be taken seriously.
That being said, if any of you have any Linux distro suggestions that can be thoroughly tested via live-USB boot, I’m still game. I’m just cool like that.